~~jokes?? in here?? really??

[MuslimGirl]

JUST FOUND THIS:

DJ UNKLE KABADIAAAAAA

 

[Mithrandir]

So...
we were talking about music the other day, and a friend of mine mentioned she liked Alanis Morisette (is that spelled correctly? ok, never mind). Seeing as I wasn't sure if I knew any of her music, I asked said friend to name a few of her songs. One of the songs was "It's ironic". I looked up the lyrics and found a few discrepancies; for instance, "It's ironic-like rain on your wedding day".
To my mind, such an occurrence would only be ironic if you were marrying a weatherman, and he set the date.
(like most spur-of -the-moment jokes, it was funnier at the time...)

 

[MuslimGirl]

 

[MuslimGirl]

 

[MuslimGirl]

 

[MuslimGirl]

 

[MuslimGirl]

 

[Gémeaux]

 

[Minato112]

 

[Minato112]

 

[Minato112]

Teacher : Hey You, Recite The Verb Walk For Me In English!!!

Student: I... Walk, You...Walk, He........Walks,.

Teacher : Faster, Faster !!!

Student : I Run, You Run, He Runs....

 

[Minato112]

There was once a student who wanted to demonstrate an experiment in class.

So he came with a box containing two glasses (One contains Wine and the other Water), and two worms

He then puts a worm in the glass containing wine and the other worm in the glass containing water

The worm in the glass containing wine dies instantly..

The teacher seeing this congratulate him for showing this and told everyone that this is why it is
bad to drink wine

The student says:" Mr, u're wrong, CAN'T U SEE THAT THE WINE KILLED THE WORM. SO WE ARE BOUND
TO DRINK THIS AS THIS WILL HELP TO KILL WORMS IN OUR BODY

 

[Minato112]

 

[Minato112]

 

[Minato112]

FREAKING CAT LOL

 

[MuslimGirl]

Want a day off work?

So you want a day off? Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a one hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend two days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off five holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only ONE day available for work and I’ll be darned if you are going to take that day off!

 

[Abdullah Yousuf]

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."

 

[Abdullah Yousuf]

judge : (to a criminal) Have some shame... this the ninth time you are entering this court
criminal : YOU should have shame ...... you come here every day

 

[Abdullah Yousuf]

 

[Abdullah Yousuf]