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~~jokes?? in here?? really??

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here iz another 1:

Mujy apni mehboba sy milne ka bara shook tha,
Osy kareeb se deekhne ka bara shook tha.

Aik din likh deya khat es ko sabar kar ke,
Dil main armano ki kabar kar ke.

Bholi bhali samaj na saki mere peyar ko,
Dy deya khat apny bhai Ghulzar ko.

Main ne dareya ki aik bari mooj dekhi,
Jab apne piche bhai Ghulzar ki fooj dekhi.

In ke marne sy jisam sy saaz nikal rehe thy,
Moun sy agle pichle raaz nikal rehe thy.

Logo ne kaha kis pa azaab aya hai,
Dil ny kaha khat ka jawab aya hai.
 
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Salam Dear Sir,
Tu sabar kar main tujhe dekh longa, Agar tujhe kabi college se baher dekha tu tere paoun hath thour donga, Tu Janta nahi teri waja se hamen ketni takleefien sehni parhti hai.

Wasalam, Ap Ka Mukhlis (Pagal Hon Jo Apna Name Lekhon)
 
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THESE ARE REAL 911 CALLS
(911 is a a number where you call in case of emergency)

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 : What’s the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!
 
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Jokes.jpg
 
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A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!
 
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The Next Generation

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
 
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Ever wonder how blondes remember their Passwords?

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password, she said, "It had to be at least 8 characters long.
 
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I bought some tuna at the market today. The Starkist label read "Albacore Tuna packed in oil, compliments of BP."
 
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A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery.

The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England."

"Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery. Can you tell me when this took place?"

"Certainly," the man replies. "About three minutes ago.
 
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