Random Jokes

[Jazib]

lolx nice jokes all...
reduces some stress :S

 

[sivakumar]

lol hahahaha. good jokes

 

[Anon]

> OFFICER—– ——— –WHAT IS YOUR NAME…?
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— —–M P. SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——— –TELL ME PROPERLY
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— —MOHAN PAL SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——— YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— —-M P. SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——–WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— -MANMOHAN PAL SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——–YOUR NATIVE PLACE
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— –M P. SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——-IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— -NO, MANI PAL SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——-WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION ?
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— -M P. SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——- WHAT IS IT ?
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— MATRIC PASS
>
> OFFICER—– ——–WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— M P. SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——-AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— -MONEY PROBLEM SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——-DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— -M P. SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——-EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
>
> CANDIDATE— ——-MAGNANIMO US PERSONALITY SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——–THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
>
> CANDIDATE— ——- -M P. SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——— –WHAT is it NOW
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— -My Performance. …?
>
> OFFICER—– ——— –M P!!!!
>
> CANDIDATE— ——— WHAT IS THAT SIR
>
> OFFICER—– ——— MENTAL PROBLEM

 

[jafar]

Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.

Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out
of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Jimmy : Mom, can I have two piece of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I comfortable seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.

 

[iamjusme]

hehe
a man and his son walk into a town mall
never b4 havin lft the village and nvr b4 havin seen an elevatr the 2 stnd amazd watchn the closn metal walls.....
wen an old woman in a wheel chair moves into the 'closin walls'
dey wtch amazd as the numbrs chngd dn wnt bk to 0....
wen the metal doors opened and out stpd a glamarus lady
the father turns to the son and shouts "quick run get your mother"
-hehe-

 

[Jezla]

Haha i luv this!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[jafar]

George Bush in a primary school...
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?

Bob

And what is your question, Bob?

I have 3 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you president when al gore got more votes?

Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, Ok where were we?

Oh, thats right. Question time. Who has a question?

A different little boy raises his hand.

George points him out and asked him what is your name?

Steve

And what is your question Steve?

I have 5 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?

Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?

Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?

Fifth, where is Bob?

 

[knight101]

nice one....

 

[alisha]

if georgie porgie read that U wud go missin very soon. lolz

 

[Jezla]

georgie porgie

I'm tryin to wonder what wud happen to you!!

 

[Jazib]

lolx
no wonder he'll join bob on his "vacations"

 

[alisha]

georgie porgie

I'm tryin to wonder what wud happen to you!!

im unstoppable

 

[alisha]

ok heres 1:

man: i dnt knw hw u can be soo beautiful and so stupid at the samne time!
wife: let me explain! God made me beautiful so that u'll get attracted 2 me! God made me stupid so that i'll get attracted 2 u!

 

[XPF MASTER]

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

 

[XPF MASTER]

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"

 

[alisha]

the worst mistake which lead to a divorce:
a man goes 2 mauritius and send a text 2 his wife:

itz soo beautiful here and i'm havin so much fun. wish u wr her...........

(he 4gt 2 add the 'e' after her)

 

[XPF MASTER]

thats not a joke.. thats smthin knwn as" reality"

 

[Jezla]

Fun Activities for the Pool

- Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board.

- Tell people you saw the lifeguard peeing in the pool.

- Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.

- Try to negotiate the price of getting in.

- Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.

- When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount.

- Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say “Wheee! I’m Batman!” while running around.

- Hit strangers with your wet towel.

- Throw people’s things into the pool.

- Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grand-finale.

- Play Marco-Polo by yourself.

- Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.

 

[alisha]

thats not a joke.. thats smthin knwn as" reality"

ur poor wife :x hehe


Jezbug- good one sure way to get checked into a mental asylum

 

[XPF MASTER]

ha-ha